meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
