Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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