my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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