neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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