I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
