Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
