I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
