I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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