I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
