New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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