Apparently you make a good broom.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
