why didn't you poke me back
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
