Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
