Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
