butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish my penis had an off switch
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize