Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
pray to the hookup gods
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
