Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
