It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
