We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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