the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
