you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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