is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
