I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
