you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
