WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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