Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
