the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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