He is an equal opportunity slut.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
