Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
