if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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