Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
