what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
