it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
