whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize