Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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