Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
