eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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