Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize