I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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