I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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