My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize