Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
