I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
