Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
