WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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