i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
