Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize