I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
