Your tits are I can't wait for
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
