after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
