And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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