So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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