I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
