Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
