loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
